Yes, I’m back to this place on earth that I wish it never existed. Just walking thru the cold corridors and seeing the four green-colored walls make me sick. I don’t want to be here but I have to be here. I have no choice but to be here.
Inside this room I see some people looking at me and I thought, “Do they feel the same way as I do?” I can’t read the different expressions on their faces as I stepped into their territory. Am I welcome? Or are they telling me to go away?
Then I heard someone scream. A deep, scary voice.. Then a loud laugh. Who is it? I looked around but I can’t find the owner of that voice. Is it just my imagination? No. It sounds so real. And then there’s another scream. And another. And another. Now a loud chorus of laughter. It’s like their voices are on my ears. Am I the only one who hears them? Who are they? Where are they?
The unknown voices continued to play in my ears but somehow I recognized one familiar voice. I cannot be mistaken. But I wish I am wrong…
Is it my voice? Oh no! I am hearing myself. I panicked. Why am I screaming? Why I am screaming and laughing? Is there’s something wrong with me? I don’t understand the way I feel and I can’t control myself.
I see people dressed in all white approaching me. I don’t know anyone of them but I think they are talking to me but I can’t find any words to answer them. I just screamed as loud as I can and I can feel my throat is already hurting. Can someone stop me?
Then I felt a strong force pinning me down, I cannot move. There’s a pang of pain on my arm and I suddenly felt something weird. I can feel something is going through my veins and my whole body. I still can’t move and my eyes feel heavy. I still hear voices including mine until it started to fade away. I still see these people around me and the four walls of this room but afterwards they all went blurry. And everything went black.
I am back to this place.
A place on earth I wish it never existed. But it will continue to exist as long as I am here. I don’t want to be here and I don’t feel that I need to be here.
I have no choice but I have to be here.
To be in such an isolated place I wish never exists.